What’s Wrong With Maybe
I have refused to live
locked in the orderly house
of reasons and proofs.
The world I live in and believe in
is wider than that. And anyway,
what’s wrong with Maybe?
Mary Oliver – “The World I Live In”
Oh, how I love this little snippet from Mary Oliver. It speaks to my heart. Even as part of me loves and longs for certainty and structure, my freebird soul agrees with the quote. Reasons and proofs create a tight little world void of possibility. It’s a house with no doors or windows to see beyond the walls. I want to see the sky and beyond the horizon to the next hill far away from the safety of my comfort zone. I want to trade all the answers I think I know for a bunch of unruly questions that stretch my present understanding. I want to grow.
Don’t we live in a world that is always changing? Even if you have a good answer for today, it’s likely it won’t serve you tomorrow. I think a better stance is to hold things loosely, to see what appears when you gaze into the looking glass of “what if’s” and “maybe’s.”
What if I focused on a new creative outlet for a month or two?
What if I took a solo trip to a place I’ve never been?
Maybe I don’t understand this situation as well as I think I do.
Maybe I should plant cucumbers.
Yeah, I got you on that last line, didn’t I? But seriously, that’s a question I asked myself lately when talking to a friend about vegetable gardening next spring!
Mary Oliver says her world is larger than all the predictable, known aspects. And so is ours. I tend to like to control things, to stick with the plan, because that makes me feel safe. I like safety, but sometimes safety confines us to a narrow box. Stepping outside that box can feel risky, but it can also show us something true about ourselves we might not learn without that risk. I want to live fully, vibrantly, with all the color and occasional chaos that comes outside the box. I want to be as fully human as I can be, and to experience the what if’s and maybe’s that come my way. I don’t want to take a pass because I’m afraid.
To that end, I’ve made some challenges for myself. This year, I’m going to do a few dangerous things. I use the word “dangerous” facetiously, although it can make us feel so vulnerable to consider a world of change that the word “dangerous” fits. Here are three things I’m going to do this year:
- Go on a 4-day art retreat. I’ve already signed up!
- Submit poetry to journals every month. I’ve let my writing slide for a few years.
- Lead a retreat that empowers women to live full, healthy, and courageous lives. (More on that below.)
What do you want to do this year? What are the “maybe’s” that exist in your life that you need to pay attention to? Can you step beyond what is known to what is possible? Can you envision your own particular sky? I encourage you to hold that thought in your heart for moment or a day or a week. See where it leads you . . .
And if you want to share it with me, please do. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Happy New Year, Friends!
Blessings,
Sandy