Light and Shadow
“However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.” – Stanley Kubrick
In a month packed full of light and heat, talking about darkness might be a little strange, but I’ve found darkness doesn’t limit itself to the gloomier, colder months when we long for the palest daylight. When the nights are longer and the dark is deepest, we need light in ways that we don’t in the summertime. At least that sort of visual light.
There are many kinds of light and many kinds of dark to balance the list. We recognize the obvious ones: night and day, sadness and happiness, shade and tint. Can we really appreciate the sunshine without the comparison of the shadow? Is it possible that light without darkness diminishes the light?
I’ve spent a few days power-washing the front sidewalk. It’s a tedious job but one I enjoy because, in a way, I’m re-making the bricks by uncovering their original hues. I’m cleaning, turning the sludge-covered walkway into something shiny and bright. I’m powering away the dark to reveal the light. It’s meditative and rewarding. As I washed, I pondered.
I’ve been working with a life coach for the last 5 months. It’s been an incredible life-altering experience. One of the things we’ve talked about again and again is my tendency to judge myself for not being perfect. Anytime I “messed up,” had a negative thought, or felt any one of the emotions or states I labeled as “dark” (things like anger, arrogance, frustration, irritation, laziness, apathy, jealousy, etc.) I would beat myself up with words or feel ashamed of myself. It’s a tough burden to be in the light all the time, friends.
I’m not saying to run to the dark side. I’m saying that the shadow side of our humanity is still part of our humanity. We get to feel those emotions. Hopefully, we won’t stay in the center of them or act to harm another person. We can see them, and say, “oh, that’s something there, that dark feeling. Look at that.” We can acknowledge the shadow as a balance to the light.
My coach keeps telling me, “Guess what? You get to be fully human!”, and I keep fighting the judgment and the secret shame of being fully human. But it’s getting easier to see myself in the darkness from the light of my own making. I’m uncovering the bricks one by one and I’m building the truth of my humanity.
I think it’s important for writers to write both the light and the dark. One without the other is flat writing, and way less interesting. If we write from the experiences with our own light and shadow, we create a slice of reality and believability within our words. No matter how vast the darkness seems, it can be balanced with light, and the brightest, most blinding light can be balanced with shadow.
If you want a creative tutorial on just how that works, I recommend power-washing a dirty sidewalk!
Blessings,
Sandy